Upon first watch, this movie makes you cringe. Upon third watch, you love this movie in the same way you love your sweatpants. It’s wonderfully predictable with a real douche-bag villain and some inspiring community vibes. My favourite moments are when dull writing is spiced up with exaggerated facial expressions- love it!!
Definitely worth a viewing for the Daymonds; what do you think?
Christmas Inheritance is the full roast dinner of Crappy Christmas Movies: Big city girl goes to small country town to find her Christmas spirit. It comes complete with a plaid wearing, wood chopping , heart broken love interest whose kind heart fills your own with warmth. The wonderful predictability of this movie is what makes it truly comfortable and enjoyable. It’s like all of your favourite Christmas traditions wrapped up in a neat little Netflix bow. The journey to Christmas is most definately incomplete without a viewing of this classic.
Haul Out The Holly is a 2022 Hallmark Channel film staring a Lacey Chabert and Wes Brown.
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This movie is out of the usual mold in a really weird, but extremely welcome, way. It’s got plenty of community quirkiness, awkward moments and abundance of holiday cheer.
Lacey Chabert is brilliant again! She joins and aids the quirkiness that everyone else is so committed so well, that you can’t help but smile. There is a LOT of Christmas in this movie which is a plus. The twinkling lights are there, snow covered scenery is in abundance and the in house decor is off the charts. The commitment to silly and fun is refreshing and adds an element of self aware lightheartedness which really makes this film endearing.
I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief that someone would fall in love with the citation-loving chair of the HOA but you are taken on a bit of a ride, so I can see how she got swept up (but I wouldn’t expect it to last past February!). I’m also a little uncomfortable with her parents’ methodology and I have a lot of questions about just how much money they must have (and how they got it!)
This movie is a lot of fun, that honestly didn’t need the romance angle, and will make you laugh out loud.
Our Little Secret is a 2024 Netflix fil staring Lindsay Lohan and Ian Harding with Kristin Chenoweth.
After really enjoying 2022’s Falling for Christmas with Lindsey Lohan, I had high hopes for Our Little Secret. However, it missed the mark for me. There were plenty of sparkles and lots of hijinks, but the production value and acting were just too high to make this a true Crappy Christmas Movie. Lindsay Lohan is, however, definitely finding a new niche for herself as a Crappy Christmas Movie mainstay as she brings the charm and charisma that this genre requires.
All in all, Our Little Secret is an OK Christmas film with some endearing moments, but it takes itself too seriously to be a true Crappy Christmas Movie.
The Christmas Note is a 2015 Hallmark Channel film staring Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Leah Gibson.
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The title of this movie sounds super sappy but I was encouraged that it was described as a ‘drama’ not a romance. Unfortunately, the synopsis on Hallmark gives away the surprise twist that the whole movie leads up to – bad Hallmark writers!!
This movie sinks into the comfort and joy of the season with kindness and community at the centre, so there’s nothing bad to say about it at all. It’s a solid 5 out of 10 as there were no cringes, or stereotypical characters – except the cheery baker who knows everyone! I suppose the real surprise twist is that there’s a lawyer, who’s actually portrayed as a nice person!
Really the whole movie played out as a long Christmas edition of ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ which I appreciated. It’s more poignant and dramatic than magical with a Christmassy lightheartedness, but it’s alright.
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Christmas Sail is a 2022 Hallmark Channel Film starring Katee Sackhoff, Patrick Sabongui with Terry O’Qiunn.
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Christmas Sail is an above average Crappy Christmas Movie. The acting is good, the vibes are cozy, the characters are endearing, there is plenty of falling snow, a lot of well placed Christmas decorations and the little girl really pulls it all together. The incorporation of sea shanties as plinky-plonky Christmas music was a nice touch as well.
What sets this movie apart from the regular Hallmark/Crappy Christmas Movie formula is the acknowledgement that suddenly leaving the home and life that you’ve built for love is an extremely complicated affair. This touch of realism certainly upped the stakes and the emotional investment.
The down side is that the love story, however good and relatable, overshadows the Christmas of it all. So while this is a definite recommendation, it’s probably a one and done.
Christmas by Starlight is a 2020 Hallmark Channel film starring Kimberly Sustad and Paul Campbell.
Christmas by Starlight is a gem of a Crappy Christmas Movie and has zero detractors. It takes place in the Big City, which is a welcome change from the journey to the small town. Christmas is a big part of the story, the romance is believable and sucks you in, there is gently falling snow throughout, the sparkly lights hit just right, none of the acting is cringe, the music and plinky-plonky chimes keep the mood festive and the best friend has tons of sass. To make things even better, no one gives up their career or has to sacrifice their dream job!
What particularly impressed us, though, was the film’s recognition that adoption brings with it life long challenges. For example, the possible feeling that no matter how rationally one knows they are safe and secure, the fear that everything could be pulled out from underneath them may linger. This simple, yet meaningful acknowledgement was a nice touch.
All in all, Christmas by Starlight is a must watch for the holiday season.
You can watch Christmas by Starlight and many more Crappy Christmas Movies on Prime Video by clicking here.
Matt’s Extra Trimmings This movie is filled with cheer, charm and enough heart to power Chicago in a blizzard. The Yule-tide romance had me fully invested, even though I knew where it was going from the start. But hey, that’s the point. The banter is sharp as an icicle and the smiles are sweeter than sugar cookies. And as for Paul Campbell, if it wasn’t enough that he stole my heart in Window Wonderland, he only went and did it again here. Kimberley Sustad, though, is the absolute glitter in the garland; she shines brighter than the North Star and absolutely sticks the landing in every scene. Christmas by Starlight may have just danced its way to the top of my annual viewing list faster than a sugar plum on Christmas Eve, spinning its way through a sleeping child’s head.
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‘Twas The Text Before Christmas is a 2023 Great American Family film staring Merritt Patterson and Trevor Donovan.
The initial premise of this movie is an e-safety nightmare!! So much personal detail shared with a stranger and then the stranger danger alarms ring through the first third of the movie!
We paused this movie to pick holes in it a lot! The decorations are just too much but then you see the decor in the main male’s house – they’re just awful! The wreaths are covered in baubles with no rhyme or reason!
The cringes happen in a true-to-life kinda way, so while they are frequent, they’re appropriate at least! The inn owner, Carter, is our absolute favourite character! He’s brilliant and sweet and raises the charm of the movie up a few notches!
While there is festive and background music and the best friend is supportive and encouraging, ultimately, this movie lacked any real Christmassy feels but had a good sprinkling of goodwill. At the time of watching Netflix lists it as No.9 in films today; all I can say is, I’m sorry to everyone who watched it before this review. It’s a pretty hard pass for us.
Matt’s Extra Trimmings While there is a lot that is wrong with this movie (the stranger danger, the E-Safety disaster of giving your personal details to a random person who just texted you, the absurd amount of garish decorations, the complete lack of understanding on how time zones work) there was a lot to redeem it as a Crappy Christmas Movie. There are no less that three Christmases, festive lattes are in abundance and the side characters really do bring the charm. So while this is not one that will likely be revisited, it provided many memorable moments and a few laugh out loud occasions, in a ‘isn’t this insane’ kind of way.
Christmas in the Pines is a 2021 Imagicomm Entertainment movie staring Jillian Murray and Dean Geyer.
We were fooled into an interesting premise with this movie and while it is about making your own Christmas magic, it misses the mark by a pretty large margin.
It’s wasn’t even cringe-worthy as it was just pretty bland and there really weren’t any Christmassy feels to it either. Gaping holes in the plot lines made the whole premise weak (we just couldn’t suspend our disbelief that far) and sadly even the home made Christmas decorations weren’t very good. A sweet idea but as bland as an unspiced cookie.
A Merry Christmas Wish is a 2022 GAC Family film starring Jill Wagner and Cameron Mathison.
A key criticism I have of the ‘romances’ in crappy Christmas movies is that they very often entail the lead female giving up her life and job in the city, that she’s worked very hard for, in order to live in a small town with her new love. So when Matt proposed this movie, my cynicism was in full flow. However, what I wasn’t expecting is that the main focus was on her journey and how hard it is to reevaluate and reflect on your life, the choices you’ve made and the values you have at your core. ….I know, pretty deep for a crappy Christmas movie!
The ‘bad guy city boyfriend’ really was quite nice and genuine, the side kick best friend was very relatable and the kid was not sickly-sweet. There was an unexplained room in the barn that’s still bothering me – it’s been decorated beautifully but I’m not sure what for! So there’s a few holes in the story to say the least. But this movie is kind of alright really.
Matt’s Extra Trimmings A Merry Christmas Wish certainly falls well in the category of crappy Christmas movie, but with the awareness of the criticisms that you all have: the lead gives up their dream career and life that they have worked hard to build on a whim. Instead, this film offers an earnest look at the turmoil and and soul searching that such a decision comes with. It also has a honey farmer that is conspicuously terrible at serving tastings of honey, two camels in the snow and a Christmas tree that has serious continuity issues. But what most concerns me about this movie is the wonderfully decorated loft in the barn, a true Christmas decor masterpiece. But why was it decorated? What purpose does it serve? Who knows? However, it is because of these quirks that A Merry Christmas Wish, along with its acknowledgement that its no simple thing just to up and change your life, that I wholeheartedly recommend this film.
Hot Frosty is a 2024 Netflix film staring Lacey Chabert and Dustin Milligan.
Anticipation was low for the first movie of our 2024 marathon: Hot Frosty. The name itself kept the standard low and the concept didn’t do much to raise it. However, the name is the only thing wrong with this movie. It’s brilliant. It’s sheer joy. It’s really funny. It’s the perfect start to anyone’s Xmas season as it’s got the perfect balance of snow, Christmas magic, bells and on-the-nose references.
It doesn’t follow your traditional crappy Christmas movie template; there’s no best friend/ side kick to steal the show, but the police officers certainly do. Lacey Chabert retains her sparkly festive crown and Dustin Milligan is wonderfully naive and innocent. This feels like a mix between ‘A very nutty Christmas’ and ‘George of the jungle’ – you really have to watch it to understand. There are no plot twists and the romance is minimal, but the laughs are real. An absolute must for early in the season.
At first, the voice of a British narrator slightly unsettled me, though that odd experience was soon a distant memory as the sweet chiming of bells and gentle falling of snow filled its place. Very quickly, the quirkiness of the characters, the jolliness of the music and the impressively ripped snowman drew me in. Hot Frosty also keeps the Netflix tradition of referencing its own Christmas films alive and well. The mention of Aldovia had me clicking my fingers and pointing at the screen shouting “I get that reference!” Then, the brief sippet of “Falling for Christmas” plus Lacey Chabert’s comment was the cream on the pumpkin pie! This film is wonderfully charming and cringe and left me smiling from ear to ear. The sheriff and his deputy had me laughing so hard that I nearly spilt my hot chocolate! All in all Hot Frosty has cemented its place as a top quality crappy Christmas movie.
Christmas Cookies is a 2016 Hallmark Channel movie.
This one hits all the markers for a crappy Christmas movie but quite obviously so. The random kid who sings and charms and tabogans is good but is (no offence to her) completely pointless. The romantic interest is not as handsome as he thinks he is and the big bad business guy is the ‘nice dad’ in a handful of other movies so isn’t very threatening.
Jill Wagner carries the movie; without her it would be awful and bland…like an un-iced cookie.
To make this movie less bland, Gavin should have been dumped in his first scene, Kelly should have come to town instantly and they shouldn’t have called the town ‘Cookie Jar’!
Christmas Movie Guide 